Heh...aw they are jus' folks

Wow it's 11:32 pm central time, and I'm feeling better about this race than I have in a good long while. Even the pundits (for what it's worth) who wouldn't out and out call it a Kerry win were saying that the President spent most of his time on defense. On DEFENSE! On his own issiues!?!?! If President Bush spent his time playing defense in this debate I can't wait to see what happens with the economy, and jobs, and the enviroment, and the half-a-hundred things that have gone to hell in a Haliburton tanker truck these last four years. This oughtta be really good theatre if nothing else.

News Flash: Joe goes...

Well it seems that Mr. Lieberman got the high sign sometime last night. We are now down by three of the original big nine in the 2004 edition of presidential Survivor. For those of you keeping score at home we have now lost Carol Mosely Braun, Dick Gephardt, and Lieberman in that order. Now Senator Joe can go back to telling us what we should or shouldn't be listening to, watching or reading. The biggest surprise so far has got to Gephardt's premature withdrawal, after a disappointing finish in Iowa. All of which leaves Dennis Kucinich and Rev. Al Sharpton in a dead heat for last place. More on this as it develops.

It's about friggin time-

In a stunning display of waking up and SMELLING THE DAMN COFFEE the Massachusetts High Court (State Supreme Flavor) handed down a ruling that said "that nothing short of allowing gays full-fledged marriage is legal in the state..." As a practical matter this means two things: Massachusetts is about to experience an economic windfall the likes of which you cannot even conceive, and we can expect a national test-case sometime after May 17th. Seems Mass. has no state residency requirements for marriage meaning that a couple can go there, tie the not, move back to there own state and demand the legal recognition promised to them under article IV of the constitution. Eventually this will all lead to the question of amending the constitution so that for the first time it actually takes away the rights of US CITIZENS. Things is about to get a might interesting out Washington way...

No...No...No No NO NO!!

I know that the 007 movies are not everyone's cinematic cuppa Joe, but I cannot begin to even fathom how bad an idea this is. No. Don't do it, if you really want to know why rent Crossroads. Make sure you bring your shrimp fork along so you can jam it in to your jugular vein to take the pain away.

Castro's Junkyard Wars

I'm certainly not trying to make light of the situation these poor people find themselves in. God only knows where I'd be if my father's grandparents hadn't been able to get the hell out of Germany when they did. (Although, they tell me that the 'Von' prefix that got chopped of my name at the intake station indicated landed gentry. Hmmm...I wonder if I have a castle somewhere.) So here is my question: why are we turning these people away? Clearly we should be taking them in and sending them to engineering school. They took a 59' Buick and made it into a boat fer pity's sake. Not only that, this is the second time. For my money, anyone who wants to be American that badly gets in. The next time you can't decide if you really want something, consider whether or not you would be willing to lash a car to some Oil drums and sail the ocean to get it.

Now where am I gonna take Susie after the prom?

Thai officials banned cockfighting* yesterday in an effort to quell the spread of avian flu. Okay, go back and read that last sentence one more time. Banned. Cock. Fighting. Clearly, this is going in the "too weird not to be true" file. I didn't even know that cockfighing was still legal, all this time I've been wasting reading books and going to college I could have been in Thailand watching armed birds try to kill each other. News of the ban was said to have a chilling effect on plans for a US national bear-baiting team...

(*Sorry if you punched the word "cock" into your search engine, and ended up here by mistake. I've got no Porno for ya.)

No linkage tonight--More tomorrow-

J

Ms. Jackson's Naughty Bits Part Two

Sorry if I seem to be obsessing over this, but it's really ranklin me just right know. So it occured to me today that the NFL wouldn't be too upset by all this. After all, sex and violence is their bread and butter, hell it's the American way. So while I was expecting CBS to go all fundy neo-puritin, the following statement by the president of the NFL took me somewhat by suprise:

[NFL commissioner Paul]Tagliabue says the halftime show was offensive and embarrassing to the league and its fans. --2004 by The Associated Press

Offensive? Pardon moi? Your organization is being bankrolled by the beer companies. Advertising firms spend hours of skull-sweat, not to mention money, trying to figure out the best way to subtly get one message across. "HEY AMERICAN CONSUMER! Yeah, You...If you use our products you'll get laid." A couple of times a year one of your players goes all 'roid ranger' and decides to beat up his wife, or a stranger, or a tree. And you have the sack to intimate that Janet's little friend was the most offensive thing about the night. Talk about the pot and the friggen kettle.

In Other News

John Kerryseems to be the Belle of the Ball all of a sudden. Which is okay by me, I wasn't looking forward to the Howard Dean attempt at the White House. No, it has nothing to do with the scream. I liked the scream...It may not have been presidential. It did, however, demonstrate that the man had some passion about all of this. My man Paul Wellstone used to get worked up speaking as well. Paul was better at it understand, more preacher, less crazy guy at the bus stop. No my real problem with Dean is the freshly-stuned look he gets in his eyes. Makes ya kinda wonder what is gonna on back there, in some ways his occular vaccancy reminds me of Dubya.

"Clue Phone...Clue Phone for Mr. Liberman!"

Joe, it's time you face the fact that no matter what else you do with your life, your place is set in history.
You are, I'm afraid, going to be ever remembered as the guy who was supposed to be making middle America forget about Bill Clinton's dick. I'm sorry Joe, but there, as they say, it is. You we're the whitest, wholesomest, most conservative Dem in the room. So, you got to go on the National Beer run by virtue of the fact that you were the only one okay to drive. We all know how well running away from ol'Bill worked out for Al. If you really want to be president...snort some coke, or boff an intern, or invent the internet SOMETHING. Right now, I'm gettin a real "MR. Burns" vibe from you and that just isn't going to cut it.

Music & Magic: Revenge of The Random Linkage

Penn and Tellerare easily my favorite working magicians. Not just what they do, but the style that they have keeps me amazed. If you get the chance check out the various writings on their site about why they do what they do. Brilliant.

Janet Jackson's Tit does not a News story Make!

Ye god's I can't believe the flap (if you'll forgive the expression) this has caused. Ricin, inteligence probes, and the damn bird flu I find it hard to believe that the halftime show warrants this much attention. Even the game was more interesting than the show. I don't know jack-diddley about American football, but when the score is tied with nine seconds left...that's a good contest. Last time I actually watched the game it was so one sided as to border on the sad.

And while I'm on the subject. I waited patiently for 25 years to share my name with somebody famous and it has to be Timberlake? WTF? Just plain WTF. I'm changing my name, from now on I want you all to address me as Loretta. I know it seems drastic, but I have a hard time expressing clearly my distaste for Mr. Timberlake without employing diagrams and complex mathmatics. So, as they say desperate times...

Denis Miller Sucumbs

I hate it when people I like suddenly turn out to be nudnicks. Since the terrorist attacks in 2001 Denis Miller has been increasingly pro-war, anti-Dem, and by extension anti-yours truly. (He's never out-and-out said it it. At least not on the air, but I have my suspicions.) This sucks the proverbial donkey-ass, because I've always been a fan of his work. And now, his politics just annoy me. Sigh.

Todays Random Linkage
Unamerican is a small business owned by a free-thinking young man who enjoys stickers. My paricular favorites are "God is My DJ" and "Nature is Pissed." Scroll down to the bumper-stickers and click on the slogans to read a blurb about them. Some of which are quite insightful.

Join us Next Time Cats and Kittens-
Loretta (Nee!)